


afraid

by RaynaSkyeWinchester



Series: 13 Reasons Why [1]
Category: 13 reasons why - Fandom, Clony - Fandom
Genre: Clony - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 23:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10604916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaynaSkyeWinchester/pseuds/RaynaSkyeWinchester
Summary: tony sees clay out with another months after the tapes were released..also months since tony has spoken to clay.clay's been avoiding tony.angry tony is angry.





	

If Tony had a choice of what he would be doing today, this would be no where near that list. 

He was currently sitting in Monet's, in the farthest corner, seething. He couldn't remember the last time he was this angry.

He was beginning to have an out of body experience, really. He was watching a scene unfold, a scene where his anger would get the best of him, he'd lose control and everyone would finally see him crack. 

There, across the now bleak coffee shop sat a boy, with a mop of brown hair and green eyes and smiles and Clay Jensen. 

Tony was beginning to, along with the out of body experience, wonder how long he was going to be able to control the itching in his legs and palms to get up and beat the shit out this kid. 

Who was the kid? Tony had never seen him around before. 

Suddenly, out-of-body Tony watched as the tables turned. Clay turned around, ever so slightly. He glanced at Tony briefly, as if he didn't recognize him for a moment, and then his ever-expressive eyes showed the recognition tenfold. 

Tony stood up angrily, sending the chair flying behind him, and stormed for the door. 

He rounded the corner to the parking lot. It felt like all the blood was rushing to his fists and he needed to hit something. So, naturally, he punched a wall. 

 

"FUCK!" He clutched his hand and opened the car door, slamming that too. He'd apologize to his car later. 

His hands was shaking, not just from the pain. He felt the vulnerability prick at his eyelids and he hated it. He couldn't function. He couldn't even get the car key separated from the rest of them because the keys were rattling like a baby toy. 

"Tony?" A voice appeared from the passenger side. 

"What the fuck do you want?" Tony closes his eyes and hopes he just goes away. 

The door opens. A body slides in. A school bag is thrown down with a thud. The door closes. Like clockwork. 

He reaches over and lifts the keys out of Tony's resting hands. 

He finds the right one and starts the car.

"Drive." He says. 

So Tony does. 

Tony drives for what feels like forever. There is no sound, only thoughts passing between the two. The anger is beginning to build inside Tony again, and with him sitting so close, he can't handle it. 

"Fuck this."

He swerves the car over into a low cut field, in the middle of fucking no where, to be honest. There is no one around, only trees to hear the scene. 

Tony gets out of the car, and slams the door. Two for Two, he's going to regret that. He stomps off into the night.

Clay gets out of the car behind him, and walks after him. He finds Tony sitting in front of a tree.

"Why did you get in the car?" Tony asks. 

"Because you looked upset."

Tony laughs. "Because I looked upset. I looked upset? I hope I looked upset because I am actually pretty fucking pissed."

Clay just looked at the ground. 

"Where the fuck did you go?" Tony said, finally looking up at Clay.

"What?"

"I haven't heard from you or about you in months, Clay, where the fuck did you go?"

"Why does it matter?"

Tony shot up from his seated position, getting in Clay's face. Clay backed up but Tony only followed, like a lion stalking his prey. 

"Why does it matter? Did I not spend weeks following you around to make sure you were okay? Was I not willing to give up everything for you? I was fucking there for you, you fucking idiot! And you left me! You fucking left me for some-" Tony put his fist to his mouth, the anger was consuming. 

"I didn't know you cared. I thought you were just there for Hannah." 

"I-" Tony couldn't believe this. He thought he showed Clay, he assumed Clay knew. 

"Do you seriously not see how much I care about you, Clay? Do you think I give a fuck about Brad at this point?"

"What do you want me to say Tony? Do you want me to read your damn mind? That's not how it works! You have to tell me what you want me to know!" 

"I'm not so sure you want to know, Clay. You're the one who left, not me. You want me to read your mind then?" Tony scoffed and began to walk away from the blue eyed boy. 

"Don't just walk away, Tony! I need answers! We don't talk for months and then suddenly I see you fucking evil eyeing me from across Monet's. What did I do to you?" Clay walked after Tony and grabbed his arm. 

Tony felt like he was going to explode at any minute now. He really needed Clay to stop touching him, before Tony got used to the feeling of the warm hand. 

"Clay. Just leave it alone. I'll drive you home. I see what you think of me, if you think the only reason that I was around you is because of Hannah." 

"Jesus fucking Christ." Clay ran a hand through his hair. "What the fuck is your problem, Tony?" Clay glared at Tony, he pressed his chest to Tony's, looking down at him. "I thought we were friends."

 

"You thought we were friends," Tony said incredulously, the damn holding back the anger finally breaking, all of Tony's vulnerability seeping out as he pushed Clay's chest away from him. "I fucking love you! I'm fucking terrified! I don't want this feeling, I can't afford love. I try to find reasons to pull us apart, but you did that yourself, right? You fucking left me! As friends and just as human beings!"

Clay looked shocked, to say the least. "You said it wasn't romantic.." 

"You didn't need to know about my stupid feelings at that time, Clay. You just needed a friend. So I didn't tell you. And then you left." 

"How was I supposed to know you cared that much? No one cares that much! Not about me."

"Oh, Clay." Tony shook his head, squatting down to sit on a tree stump. His eyes began to fill with tears, he didn't know where from, but he suspected somewhere deep within him. 

"Even though we're going through it, and it makes you feel alone, just know," he sighed and looked up at Clay, "I would die for you, Clay Jensen." He stood up, and took a step towards him. 

"Distance or time between us, nothing will ever change my mind, because you're worth it."


End file.
